Bad Choice of Speech Topic

I once wrote about Mr Miyake, a man of worrying perversion in a company class I used to teach. In those lessons, every month, we would do a presentations lesson. A student would give a talk on a topic of his or her choosing and, afterwards, the rest of the class would ask questions and have a short discussion of the subject. I really enjoyed those days, mostly because I needed to prepare little and could sit back and do nothing but make a few corrections and give a bit of feedback. I was expressing this view to a teacher who had taught the class before me when he asked, ‘Has Mr Uesugi given a presentation yet?’

I said that he hadn’t but that I had always found Mr Uesugi to be an interesting and engaging fellow, a good student to have in the class.

‘That’s what I thought,’ said the previous teacher, ‘until he gave his presentation.’ He then told me about a side of Mr Uesugi I had not seen. It would seem that Mr Miyake wasn’t the only pervert in the class. Mr Uesugi had given a speech on groping.

Well, technically, it was a presentation on a book about groping but still, you have to wonder what sort of a man thinks, ‘Hmm, what could I give a speech about? Oh, I know!  I’ll talk about my unusual sexual predilections!’

A few years previously, though, there had been a book published, the author of which, Samu Yamamoto, was a self-confessed groper. The book was called something like, The Groper’s Diary and was a fairly big seller. Mr Uesugi had read the book and wanted to talk about it in class. In the work, Yamamoto had apparently outlined some of the better places, and the best times on crowded trains and such, to cop a quick feel of an unsuspecting lady. Mr Uesugi spoke about the book for a few minutes and then turned to the class and said, ‘Now, I have one question.’ He let a small pause settle before asking an already squirming audience, ‘Have you ever done the groping?’

The previous teacher said that there followed the most awkward of awkward silences. Even Mr Miyake was unlikely to shoot up his hand and confess that why, yes, I got a right good grasp of tit on the train home just last night! Instead, everybody stared very hard at the table and began to scrape fingernails in imaginary specs of dirt. And that’s when the teacher made an error of judgment, for instead of just interrupting and disallowing the question, he tried to lighten the mood. ‘Now, now Mr Uesugi,’ he said, ‘you can only ask a question like that if you are prepared to answer it yourself!’ Mr Uesugi paused, looked down at his feet, and then with a small, embarrassed smirk said, ‘Maybe, just a little.’


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5 Responses to Bad Choice of Speech Topic

  1. judi(togainunochi) says:

    Another slice of life to bring a smile. I just wish that “coping a feel” was all we had to worry about in this world of today.

  2. Biggie says:

    my my, I bet Mr Uesugi is quite popular with the young female staff.

  3. sarahf says:

    Gotta love an Eikawa perve. I had a student who liked to discuss my breast size with other students. I’m glad I never asked him to make a presentation.

  4. Eww! My students are a bit pervy sometimes, but they’re teenagers, so I chalk it up to raging hormones. That sort of behavior from grown men though is just creepy! Hilarious, in a “glad I’m reading and not experiencing” sort of way!

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